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Tuesday, 24 March 2009
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points... day 1
cup of soup - 7
1 avocado- 3
lettuce- 0
10 olives- 1
dressing- 2
total=13
left= 7
daily total= 20
Monday, 02 February 2009
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so i'm basically using..
this as not only my weight progress but my life too.
cuz right now i have a lot to say.
i feel so tired and exausted not just like physically tired but mentally.
it kinda hard to imagine my life in 5 yrs right now.
because i really fucked up.
not only that but i havent weighed myself in like 2 weeks. so i feel like i gained sooo much weight.
but who knows.
anyway
i havent been that hungry lately because i've been taking a lot of x and smoking a lot of weed. they kind of counteract eachother when it comes to munchies. but for like a week after i take x i'm not hungry at all and if i eat i feel really sick.
so i guess thats really good. except for the feeling shitty part.
but yeahhh.
i need to stop doing drugs.
i love how x makes me feel
that makes me wonder how coke feels
and its supposed to be even better at dealing with hunger.
but yeah ha.
wow. so much shit to deal with.
X333
Saturday, 10 January 2009
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OH SNAP!
So, i figure that a lot has happened these past couple of months and its already january.
i feel like i'm just completely failing at life.
it might just be because I have depression
But I'm 100% convinced that If i was skinner I would be happier.
and I know it.
everything would be solved
so here are my goals by spring break...
¹Loose tons of weight
I mean tons.
Like unbelievable.
2. be able to wear a bikini
3. work out every single day until spring break. then until cabo.
4. feel comfortable enough with my weight that i can pose for GG and get my tattoo.
5. eat once every 2 days.
BASICALLY.
I want to show everyone that I can be strong minded and that I can do what I need to do to get the job done.
I'm going to be sexy.
for real.
Thinspiration..
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
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sickkkk
So i'm really sick right now like FLU sick and i feel like i'm going to die.
I have class until like 11 tonight because its a test day and I'm literally going to pass out.
but the good thing is, is that i didn't eat anything today yet
and this is going to be my first fast day
because th past two days i had to eat because i was a bunch of family taking my out to dinner and shit
for my birthday
i was like eww god i feel disgusting.
but other than that i'm okay.
this cold is killing my will to eat because my throat hurts so much
but i'm still hungry
and ciggs always kill that hunger
and i cant really smoke because my throat hurts
so i'm fucked
but i'm still going to smoke before my next class.
just because
but here it is...
b- N/A
L-n/a
D- hopefully. N/A
no it will be, because i need to lose weight
fuck food.
:D
she's my idol
Sunday, 26 October 2008
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I feel like I've completely lost control lately. All I want is to be thin and happy at the same time. But my depression brings me deeper and all i want to do is be alone and eat or something.
I remember when i was at my thinest and it makes me so mad that i was angry about how much i weighed. but i couldn't see it anyother way.
I'm so tired of feeling disgusting whenever I go out. I want to beable to wear that bikini one day i want to beable to show off my tattoo.
but no
I'm a fatass.
and it's disgusting
so I decided I'm doing a 2 day fast starting about 3 hours ago.
Age: 18
Height: 5'3'
Weight: 175
BMI: ?
Dress Size: 11
Highest Weight: 185
Lowest Weight: 140
Goal Weight: 115
Favorite Diet Food: water and ciggs.
Favorite Binge Food: sushi.
Favorite Exercise: anything gym related
Thinspo: kat von d, adrinana lima
Where Do You Slip Up? around my family.
When Did It Start? 8th grade
Does Anyone Know? some ex's close friends
Do You Want Help?no
How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day? Too many.
What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror? Fat.
Are You In A Relationship? Not at all.
Are You The Fat Or Thin One Out Of Your Friends? idk.
Are You Depressed? Very much so.
Ever Tried To Commit Suicide? 4 times.
Ever Been To A Psychologist? Yes.
I AM -
[x] anorexic
[] ednos
[x] bulimic
[] living off diet pills
[] hungry
[x] thirsty
[] drinking something
[] Under 100lbs
[X] starving yourself
[x] participating in a fast
PEOPLE -
[] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[ ] call me fat
[] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[x] spread rumors about me
[x] force me to eat
[ ] say I eat too much
[x] wish I’d eat more
[x] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic
I WISH -
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 110lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[] I could stop being ana/mia (it gives me control and comfort)
I LOVE -
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[x] shaking
[x] being weak
[x] losing weight
[x] being anorexic/bulimic
[x]green tea
[x] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself
alessanicole
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- Member Since: 10/26/2008
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i'm really scared to meet emilio because he thinks i'm like hella thin or something and thats so not true i'm gross i love him tho
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